There isn’t a way to vent without that feeling of vulnerability.
Deep thinking is now, for some unknown reason, seen as attention-seeking and “weird” in our society. That in our day to day life, saying what you feel is for the oddballs, and meaning what you say is for the off-putting expressive types.
Therefore, it is hard to trust and hold conversations of heart-felt value to most. Even family.
I’ve been reading a very insightful and expansive book called “Healing the Child Within: Discover and Recovery for Children of Adult Families.” By Charles L. Whitfield M.D. The book delves into the mental misconstruction of children brought up into life through sick and/or unstable family structures. I cannot even begin to describe just how grotesquely dysfunctional my family was and still is, so I felt a need to really pry into this book and see what healing powers it offered. It has given me much more understanding to say the least. I thought that I was just one of those mentally damaged children and that others around me where so lucky. However, once you absorb the novel and it’s entirety, it’s easy to see that almost EVERYONE you come in contact with is also a victim of a pained, damaged upbringing. Mentally, physically, emotionally… Is there anyone out there who hasn’t suffered these exponentially dangerous toxins as children and teenagers?
Everyone you meet is fighting something. An internal battle of self esteem, a broken psyche of inferiority to those who themselves feel inferior too. A chemical substituting for the absent healing that grief brings, a drink numbing the cowardly refusal of accountability.
We are taught that feelings are secrets to be guarded, we are told to be tough, not to cry. Those we know believe that they are protecting us from hiding truths and realities, when in fact when we cannot understand our life as it has been given to us, we will absorb the blame onto ourselves. Misplaced as it poisons and stunts our emotional growth, there is a darkness that expands because being left in the dark is accepted. “The way things are…” is said to us so many times that we expect nothing more outwardly, but inside, our Inner Being is the one suffering, questioning, thirsting to understand and to heal.
This is our society’s cycle, it turns and turns, never breaking because we don’t even realize that it exists. We chalk up all our depression and feelings of loss, denial, and anger to chemical imbalances and short term feelings, instead of finding and fighting the root of our problems. Or even worse, our flawed upbringing is just “personality quirks” when manifested outwardly. Sheesh, what a world right?
I challenge you to share. To fight the hush-hush nature of expression. Grieving is the cure to every mishap we inherently or knowingly faced, yet we are taught to simply “move on” as quickly as possible. Why is the one mental mechanism of healing we possess wrong? Share- with anyone and everyone why you hurt, how you hurt, and simply ask for love. You’ll be surprised at how readily someone extends the hands of kindness and warmth your way.